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Post by ISABELLA MARIE SWAN on Dec 18, 2012 17:53:54 GMT -5
Taking a deep breathe, she had just gotten out of work and went home to clean up. Once that was done, she was out figuring she would take a walk around town. Stopping by one of the shops she found something that would remind her of her past, of what made her what she was. She had gotten things under control as far as her emotions were concerned, although it was getting harder and harder to do the more times she found herself face to face with a member of the Cullen family, the vampire family that she was almost apart of. And she didn't blame them for being angry.
She had alot on her mind and needed to think things through. It seemed like everything had spiraled out of control from the moment she had left Edward at the Alter. She had moved out and away from this town for fear of getting herself killed as she knew that Edward's family for the most part wanted her dead, ripped apart and burned the pieces the way that they had done with James on her behalf. That was a lifetime ago. But the truth was she missed them, all of them. Especially Edward. But having seen him once since returning to town, meeting Luna, running into Rosalie all within the last week, it seemed like there was some kind of vampire convention in town she was the last to know about it. She had opened a book and had started walking while reading, not something she ordinarily did but she needed to escape what was going on in her mind.
The pain that seeing the Cullens had brought back to the surface and knowing the pain that she had caused upon Edward especially. The book she was reading was about Van Helsing, which everyone who read the book would know what it was about. It was while reading that she happened to bump into someone else. Someone she hadn't expected.
Dropping her book, she couldn't help but glance at the individual in front of her. There stood none other than the brother of Edward, Emmett Cullen. The one who was strong enough to rip anyone to shreds should be he tempted. Someone she had once believed actually accepted her but knew the truth just by looking at him now. "Oh this month keeps getting better and better. Seeing each of the Cullens individually, what's next? Seeing them all at once? Don't think I'd want to be in a house with all of them seeing as they have a reason to hate me and want to tear me to shreds."
She thought as she then picked up her book and faced Emmett. "I'm sorry....I should have been watching where I was going....but I was a bit lost in my book." Knowing that no appology in the world was going to be enough to not feel threatened by Emmett or fear of what he would do now that the truth was out. What would he do, or say now?
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Post by EMMETT CULLEN on Dec 18, 2012 18:08:38 GMT -5
Emmett had been walking around town thinking" What to do for Rosalie that reminds her of the great times we have had?{/i]He had run into the one person that he did not think he would see again. Emmett looked towards the ground and saw the book that Bella dropped. Usually he would pick up the thing that was dropped but this time he had nothing good for her. Things had changed for the worst. This was the person that broke his brother's heart.He started to think about what he would say or do to Bella. That was when he heard what bella said to him.
Emmett asked" After all what you have said that is all you got to say to me. We busted our butt getting that alter ready for you to walk down the aisle with Edward. You did not see how it affected him after you left."[/b] Emmett was trying to keep back the words that would make him sound like the bad guy. It would not be like himself.Emmett said" I hope that book is good enough for you to forget everything you did . Or good enough for you to feel better about what you did.Why did you come back in the first place?"
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Post by ISABELLA MARIE SWAN on Dec 18, 2012 18:22:26 GMT -5
She knew instantly that she was in trouble. Not only was this the brother of the man she had almost married, but the one she had hurt the most. Emmett and Rosalie....everyone had told her to stay away but she hadn’t been able to. “I know, Emmett. I’ve beaten myself up every day since then but that’s not enough. Nothing will be. I appreciate what you and the others did and I know that I hurt Edward, hurt everyone....and that was not my intention.” She sighed as she looked at him, knowing that if looks could kill she would be dead by now. “It wasn’t easy on him, I know that. Nor was it easy on me. I’m the bad guy, I know it. And there is nothing and I do mean nothing that could make me forget what I did. And saying I’m sorry won’t cut it but in case you have forgotten, this town isn’t just your home. My family is here too. Charlie’s here. He’s why I came back. I had no idea that your family was here...and even if I had, I couldn’t...I couldn’t stay away. I realize that I have caused Edward especially more pain than I ever thought I would....but it’s not that simple. I know what I did was wrong, to hurt him like that. All he ever was...was a great guy that loved me and did nothing wrong.”
Her mistake had been to come back to this place, knowing the chaos that it would bring with it. It was the last thing in the world that she wanted was to get into a fight with him and his entire family.
"You have no idea what was going through my head at the time....no one does. Not that it matters. I'm the one that's done more damage--damage that I cannot hope to repair no matter by what I do. That's why I left when I did--because I knew that by staying around here after--I hurt him like that--that him seeing me or me seeing him...that it'd make matters worse. And I also know that he deserves much more than what I could give him." That was the honest truth, that was how she had felt. He had deserved a hell of a lot more. She hadn't wanted to hurt Edward. "That day, I have never forgotten though I wish I could....but I have to live with it for the rest of my life, knowing that I hurt a man who was willing to give me everything I could have ever asked for." Even though she knew that she would have had to give up something and now she had lost more than just Edward and his family but her own mind--her own piece of mind. She had regretted more than she could possibly say about that day. Of what it was that caused her to turn away--to leave Edward, as beautiful and handsome as he was standing there at the Alter. What should have been the happiest day of her life turned into her very worst. Not only that it was her fault and no one else's.
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Post by EMMETT CULLEN on Dec 18, 2012 18:47:29 GMT -5
Emmett said†you should beat yourself up about what you did and did not do. It was not just for you but for Edward also. You are welcome either way and either way it happened and cannot be done over.â€He paused as she spoke again. He spoke again by saying†I might not been easy on you or him but think how Alice must have felt. She took to you more so than anyone with the exception of Edward. Yeah you are the bad guy and just curious how did Charlie take it. Yeah sorry will never make this situation go away. Did I say it was just ours? I do not think i did. Charlie never was too keen on Edward anyways. I had a feeling that you could not stay away from family and i do not blame you for that. If you know what you was going to do then why did you do it in the first place. That would make you be more of a bad guy then you already are.†He took a pause and looked at Bella.
Emmett said†So you do have remorse for what you did. That is surprising and yeah that is right that you have the rest of your life to think of the person that was nothing but nice to you.†Emmett wished that he had Edward’s power so he could read what Bella was thinking and if she was telling the truth. He was not sure if he could trust her words.
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Post by ISABELLA MARIE SWAN on Dec 18, 2012 19:34:41 GMT -5
She sighed as she looked at him. Taking a deep breath it was going to be complicated and fast. “I know. That’s the very least I deserve....although honestly after it was all said and done—I wanted to die. Because I realized just what I had done and to the extent of how much damage I’d done. I know Alice took it hard too, she was the one that I think expected for everything to work out—and I’m sure she didn’t see it coming when it happened. All I know is I was walking down the aisle towards Edward, and everything was fine, but then I started seeing things....my past....my mom and Charlie...Jacob...everything. And I realized that it wasn’t just about me..and how I was feeling...that there were others involved. Not just Edward, but my parents....I was losing someone either way. Because I knew when I became a vampire—I’d lose my parents forever. You know? Because I couldn’t see them, not without wanting to hurt them. And for them to—to think that I was dead. I mean yes, technically I would have been as I would have been without a heartbeat, but it’s a lot more complicated than that.”
She hesitated when he asked about Charlie. “Charlie was more surprised than I think I would have expected him to be. You know he couldn’t exactly stand Edward, he told me more often than not that I should be with someone like Jacob. And given he didn’t know what you guys were, vampires....or what Jacob was, that only made things more complicated. I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t tell anyone. And no, you didn’t say it was just yours.” She replied as she looked from the floor back to his face.
Perhaps it was just the overwhelming feeling of being ganged up on, because between Luna, Rosalie and Emmett, she felt worse than she had to begin with. “I hadn’t known that I was going to end up hurting him like that. If I had I would have pulled him to the side long before we had gotten everybody assembled for it and told him right then and there. But I didn’t. I thought I was ready—I thought that it was going to work out. I just—I wish things would be easier. Perhaps it would have been easier if Edward had let me die when James attacked....or when I was about to be crushed by that car. Death would be so much easier than to live with the guilt that I’ve been carrying around these last six years. And yes, I do feel remorse for it...for what I’ve done. How is it surprising Emmett? I’m not coldhearted. Granted I have made mistakes, but I am only human. But it's like I've said before, nothing can change what it is that I've done, even if I've regretted it ever since. Though once I left, I never stayed in one place too long because I recalled what the Volturi told Edward, Alice and I when we were in Italy. I'm dead either which way if they find me. I realize that and it's a fate I'll accept.” And that was the honest truth.
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