it's time(Bella)

[JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK]

it's time

It had taken all of the nerve he had in his body and his common sense was still telling him this wasn't a good idea, but here he was, driving on the way to Bella Swan's house. Jacob hadn't seen Bella in six-close to seven years now and he didn't know how much she had changed in the time she had been gone. Jake had heard from pack mates and other friends that Bella had traveled all over the world in the years since she had left Forks, left Edward at the alter, and left Jacob one broken hearted best friend. It had of course hurt Jake when he realized Bella would never love him the way he had loved her and it had hurt worse when he hadn't imprinted on her like he thought he was going to after first phasing. Letting out a slow breath Jake ran a hand through his short cropped black hair and then over the stubble that he now let grow out on his chin and upper lip. Jake wasn't the same eighteen year old he had been when Bella left, he was twenty-four now and was a much harder, more stoic person than before.

The welcome to forks sign came into view and Jake slowed down to match the speed limit as he entered the town limits. Jacob had never liked coming to Forks, it used to be because of Edward and the hurt that was caused when Bella chose Edward over him, but now it was because he hadn't wanted to see the girl he had at one time loved. Jake had been refusing to leave LaPush ever since Bella returned back to Forks to be close to Charlie. As he got closer and closer Jacob's nerve started to withdraw from him, but the wolf inside gave him strength to continue on ahead to what he knew he needed to do. Jacob needed to see Bella and he needed to find out what had happened that day, why she had left and refused contact with her best friend since childhood.

As the house came into view Jacob slowed and turned into the driveway. The old house was the same as he had always remembered it, the same as the day his father had brought him by all those years ago to welcome Bella back to Forks, unlike him the house was unchanging. After shutting off his truck Jacob got out and took a deep breath, steadying himself before he walked up to the door. Raising his hand he knocked once, twice, thrice and breathed again ”Bella” he called out.

outfit|here
Jake at 24|here

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Coming home had been something she had dreaded, only because she knew she owed so many answers to so many people. She had hurt more than her fair share of the people she had loved, Jacob...Edward....her family, the other Cullens. EVERYONE. It killed her knowing that she had been responsible for so much heartache. Charlie had mentioned to her over the phone about Jacob’s visits, that he had asked about her but she had asked him not to say anything about it to Jacob that he had even talked to her. He had agreed. But she had been heartbroken about it. She knew that they deserved so much more than the answers that she could have provided.

Travelling all over the world had been the only sanity—the only solution in all of this. She knew the Volturi would be watching closely and she was sure that even now, they would risk everything to kill her. To kill them all. It hadn’t been an easy decison to just leave and not talk to Jacob, to anyone. She hadn’t even told Charlie or her mother where she was going. She just felt the need to get out of there. The time on the road had done her some good. She knew that there was reprecussions for her actions. Fear had been her primary reason for abandoning everyone she had ever known or loved because she didn’t want to hurt them more so than she had already....the only two who had recieved any kind of contact had been Charlie or her mother. But even with the few letters she sent or the brief phone calls—she didn’t stay on the phone long so that Charlie couldn’t track where she was.

It was unreal to think that it had been almost seven years since she had first been back in Forks. To be precise, living in this house. Of course Charlie had welcomed her back with open arms even though he had asked questions that even now she couldn’t truly answer. Part of the reason she didn’t talk to Jacob was because even though he was her best friend—she knew that he had loved her—truly loved her and she couldn’t reciprocate that love, no...not to the way he would have been happy with. She had been in her room, on her laptop, writing an email to her mom, when suddenly she heard the sound of a door closing downstairs. Shutting her laptop down, after sending the email she was afraid. Who could it be?

She knew it wasn’t Alice, and she knew that it wasn’t the other Cullens. As they wouldn’t dare come here unless they sought to have her killed just like the Volturi. And for once she knew that it wasn’t any of them as they didn’t knock. Especially not the Volturi.

Her appearance had not changed much, in the six almost seven years that it had been. Her hair was still the brown color that it had always been but it had been kind of wavy, similiar to how she had worn her hair for the prom that Edward had taken her to. She had known that Jacob hadn’t liked coming to Forks, especially after she and Edward had become official, and when she had turned him down when he had admittedly told her that he loved her. She loved him too, but not like he loved her and that had made things a bit awkward for a while. She had only been to La Push once since she had returned and even there—even in the comfort of knowing that Jacob lived closeby she hadn’t had it in her heart to go see him as she knew that he was hurting—that he was angry just like the Cullens were. They all had a reason for being angry obviously and she had to accept that.

It wasn’t just that she had avoided contact with Jacob—but she had avoided contact with everyone aside from her mom and Charlie. The pain had been overwhelming and it had taken it’s toll on her. One could see it once they looked at her. The house hadn’t changed a bit since she had last lived here, and yet it was different all the same. She had been grateful that Charlie had allowd her to stay with him as she really had no other idea where she would have gone had he said no. She had walked downstairs and had heard him yell out her name once as she opened the door only moments after Jacob had stopped knocking. “Jake....” She had breathed out, although it had come out as a whisper instead of the tone she normally had used. She cleared her throat once as she looked at him. Part of her wanted to hug him but she didn’t. Instead she stood her ground and looked at him. Although it had been almost seven years, he hadn’t changed too much, not in the areas that truly mattered....he was still the Jake she had known and loved.

[JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK]

When the door opened Jacob was taken aback, it was Bella and in the seven years since he had last seen her she had changed much. Her hair and eyes were still brown, her skin was still pale, and she was still shorter than him, as she always had been. Even before he shifted he had always been bigger than her and now it was the same as it had always been, well physically, but he knew that emotionally and mentally both of them were different in many ways. Jacob knew she still felt the same about him as she always had, well things were of course going to be different after six years but still the same sibling love and he was OK with that now, because now that was how he felt towards her. It had been about two years after she left that Jacob had realized that he had always felt a sibling love for Bella, but he had been sort of forcing himself to see it as romantic love, he realized they weren't meant to be and to him that was OK now, he could deal with it.

When Bella said his name Jake couldn't help but give a small smile ”Same ole' Bella I see” he tried to crack in a awkward joking kinda way. Lifting his hand Jake ran his fingers through his short hair again and then let his hand drop back by his side.He knew things would be different, that this meeting would be hard on both involved and that things would be awkward but the wolf inside had pressed because deep inside he knew both of them needed this meeting, for answers and to establish where their friendship was, they needed to talk. He knew it was time for him to stop hiding and come out and face the friend that had left him and many other behind.

”I know this is probably weird for both of Bella, but we need to talk....you can't ignore me now that I'm right here in front of you” Jacob new he probably sounded cold and heartless right now and he probably shouldn't have said what he said but he was hurt and now he was talking off that hurt.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Jacob Black had been the one guy that she had always known was going to just be there for her. Even in the darkest hour—he had proven himself to be a loyal friend and she had let him down—just like she had let down everyone else and it was an unsettling feeling. A feeling she wished she could get rid of. However she couldn’t, and that was part of the problem.

Seeing him now, only brought out the feelings she had known were always there....and although she did not love him in the way that she knew he had once hoped that she would—she had never stopped loving him. And it wasn’t just the simple sibling type of love either. Because it was always more complicated than that. Just like with everything else in her life.

Of course with time she had realized the truth—that just because they weren’t meant to be didn’t mean they couldn’t be the friends they had always been. But she knew how difficult it had been—the conversations after Edward left—how he had wished he’d imprinted on her and now she was grateful that he hadn’t because this would have made it all the more awkward. She was relieved to see him smile. “Yeah and you’re the same old Jake...only different.” She replied, knowing he was joking with her. Except she didn’t like the term old. It made her realize she was still human.

“I uh....wish it hadn’t happened this way, Jake...” She sighed. “But you’re right we do need to talk...and I’m not ignoring you. I even—I even went to the beach when I first got here thinking I might see you. I was wrong to—to do what I did. To hurt you like that. I just I panicked. I don’t really—don’t really know why. I just did.” She knew she had to be upfront and honest with him even if it hurt. ALOT. She wondered if he might want to come in. “Before I go any further, do you want to come in or do you want to go somewhere to talk?” She asked for a moment before finishing what she had wanted to tell him so many years ago.

”I just have to say this. I kept thinking of everything you’d said...everything you kept trying to get me to see reason to. That I shouldn’t have to change who I am to be with someone else.” She ran a hand through her hair as she said it. “And I—I realized what I was doing. That I’m hurting people either which way. Whether I would have went through with the ceremony or I didn’t...someone was going to get hurt and I just I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think clearly. That’s why I—when I tripped I just I couldn’t keep going. As much as I wanted to...as much as I knew that I should have. I knew I'd either be hurting you...Edward and his family or my own. Choices like that, I just I wasn't ready to make. I have missed you, Jake. Far more than I can even tell you.” She told him, honestly as she looked into his eyes.

[JACOB EPHRAIM BLACK]

Jake let out a bitter laugh, the same Jake only different. She didn't even know how right she was. Jake wasn't the lovestruck teenager he had once been, he was a man now who was worried about the well being of his pack over all else, well not all else, his imprint now held the number one place of protection in his heart, shame she didn't even know about the imprint yet. She started saying how she wished it hadn't happened that way, how she'd come to LaPush hoping to see him when she first returned, how she panicked and hadn't known what else to do. When she asked did he want to come in Jake simply nodded and walked by Bella into the living room that he knew so well from years past. ”I guess I can understand the panicked feeling...it's what I felt when I first shifted...and those weeks before the...well ya know” Jake didn't really like talking about the failed wedding between Bella and Edward, he knew the vampire still partially blamed him, and he didn't want to bring up anymore pain than necessary for Bella.

Jake heard what she was saying, he remembered what she was talking about, all the times he had tried to convince her to stay human, at the same time he had been trying to convince her to be with him instead of the vampire. It pained him to hear all the things she was saying, pain for his friend who had made a choice, because she was right, either way she would have been hurting someone. There had been no easy way out of the situation. ”I understand what your saying Bella, I'm sorry for being so harsh, but those years not knowing where you were, thinking I'd lost my friend forever...it hurt” Jake said quietly. With a weak smile Jake said what he had been thinking ”I've missed you to Bells” he said softly.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

She hadn’t expected just how dangerous their world had been—and what she had missed. They were all different—six almost seven years tended to change people...sometimes for the better like in Jake’s case and sometimes for the worst like hers. When they were now safely inside the living room, she felt a tad bit better—especially since Charlie was at the station and they wouldn’t be interrupted for quite some time, because it would risk everything.

“Yeah you were angry—I thought I’d lost you. Lost our friendship but I guess I did it this time not you. I mean I know I shouldn’t have run—exactly I just I panicked. I knew I was hurting people—either way and I just I froze. I guess it’s probably for the best that I did leave....I wasn’t thinking clearly after what happened and I—just I couldn’t face anyone.” She ran a hand through her brown hair and her brown eyes lingered over Jake for just a second. He had grown up—they both had, and he seemed so much more mature than he had been when she had left him. Left everyone she had ever known. Even though she did it so she wouldn’t see their pain or enhance her own. It also was incase the Volturi did find her—she didn’t want anyone to see that.

”I felt sick—thought about hurting myself. Because I couldn’t deal with what I’d done—how many people I’d hurt. Not just my fiancee—but his family—my own—our friends—our family....it just it was more than I could possibly handle. It didn’t help that I realized after I left just how dead I was....going to be. The Volturi will find me—it’s only a matter of time....and once they do, I’m as good as dead. They’re going to find me and kill me because I know too much—and without a doubt they’ll hurt anyone they have to in order to get to me. And that’s another reason why I left..because I didn’t want them to find me here—to have Charlie or my mother see what they would do to me. How they’d kill me. But even when I was gone—I thought of everyone. It’s why I kept in contact with Mom and Charlie the most. I didn’t want them to panic...especially Mom. I saw her for a few days here and there but for the most part I stayed away. Because I didn’t want to lead the Volturi straight to her. Or to Charlie for that matter. I think I called Charlie more than I did Mom, because I knew he’d understand partially what I was going through. Charlie still loves my mother—although he won’t admit it. I know him too well. He does even though he knows she married Phil. But—even now—there’s no easy way out of any of this. I wanted—I wanted to call you—after it was all said and done but I was afraid of how you would react—after my leaving as abruptly as I did. Because I know I didn’t explain anything then and how could I? How could I explain that I did it because I was afraid? Of hurting people and seeing them die? Seeing myself be the reason for their pain? But I know that in the end I’ve hurt everyone—you, my parents, my friends—Edward and his family...everyone. And it kills me knowing that I’ve done something that I can never make up for.”

She whispered the last part, as she looked into his eyes, grateful that he had missed her too though she didn’t deserve it. Taking a deep breath she looked at Jacob. “But enough about me. What have you been up to? Have you ever found your imprint that you spoke about so many years ago? Remember, when we were riding the motorcycles? And fixing them up—those were the best times in my life....just being around you—it wouldn’t have mattered what we did but I had fun—even if it was extremely dangerous.”