Sight Unseen (Alice Cullen)

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Panic set in as she was out in the woods. She couldn't explain why, but she had loved it. She was in between the territory line between where the wolves were able to be, and where the Cullen family were able to be. It was as she was walking right in the middle of the area, that she sensed something was up. She wasn't alone. If she had only known that this was where her future would be—regretting in every detail all the pain that came with it, her heart would have probably broken into a millon pieces. She already knew that she was treading on very thin water by returning to Forks.

Because although she had family here—she also knew this was the Cullen’s home long before it had been hers. It didn’t take much to understand that she wasn’t welcome near their home. Nor was she trying to be on their property—she just liked to walk. And being in the woods helped. It eased the pain somehow—just like being around Jake used to do. But even he was different. Not that it was a bad thing necessarily but different nevertheless. She had been petrified of returning to this area for fear of upsetting her former fiancee and his family. They were good people—despite the belief that they were cursed simply because they were vampires.

She didn’t see it that way, never had. Which made it altogether unreal why she had walked away from them like she had. But there were things they would never understand. Fear had gotten in the way alright but it had been so much more complicated than that. Beauty in what Edward was—what his family was—that was priceless and she had let it slip out of her grasp.

To join them was a dream she had once wished for, and when that moment arrived she let the fear of the unknown—of losing what she once was—who she was in the process. Of losing Charlie and her mother—of losing Jake. That she didn’t see the bigger picture....

Walking away from Edward—from the happily ever after that she could have had was the biggerst disappointment she had in herself. She had every chance in the world to be happy—to make Edward happy and she had trampled on it—and knew that her doing what she had done had stabbed Edward not once but repeatedly in the heart, even if it was no longer beating the way that hers was. She wasn’t watching where she was going—and she bumped into someone. Someone whom she had known. She didn’t know if it was a good thing or not to suddenly wind up face to face with an old friend whom she had cherished like a sister, Alice Cullen.

Taking a deep breath she didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? Because saying I’m sorry just wasn’t good enough. It never would be good enough. The guilt had been on her mind ever since that fateful night and had only intensified by seeing Alice right in front of her. Part of her hoped that Alice wouldn’t seek to hurt her, because she knew that was what she deserved—to be hurt—killed even for her betrayal—for hurting Edward. "Alice. It is so good to see you. Though I'm sure you probably won't reciprocate that thought given everything that I've done....and who I've hurt...EVERYONE, but I know saying I'm sorry doesn't cover it. Because sorry doesn't cut it when you do what I did...hurting the very people that I loved the most. But it doesn't change the fact that I am sorry....Alice."

[ALICE BRANDON CULLEN]

Alice sighed as she flipped through the old pages of a book she probably have read over a thousand times now. She knew it word by word, and if you asked her what the page a certain event is written on was, she would be able to point it out for you. This was one of her favourites, so the sigh wasn’t out of boredom. No. Instead the sigh was directed to her thoughts, to sit still for so long caused your mind to think a bit too much and all her thoughts distracted her from reading.

Alice couldn’t stop thinking about how much things had changed, her family grew, though not as she excepted. Sure, she loved her new adoptive siblings. Every one of them was wonderful and now she couldn’t picture life without them. But there was someone missing. Someone that should have joined her family by Edward’s side... Bella Swan. Alice never saw it coming, Bella leaving Edward at the altar. But people change their minds, Alice knew that better than anyone.

Lately Alice couldn’t stop thinking about the girl that was, and in some ways still is, like a sister to her. She saw things, visions of her. Some meant nothing, and she tried her best to keep it from the mind reading Edward. But Bella was back, and just as Alice turned a page, she froze, half jumping in the chair as a vision flooded her mind. Bella was close, very close. And Alice knew she had to go to her. Alice wanted to talk...get answers. Things she felt Bella owed her.

Shutting the thick book she slid it onto the table next to her and got to her feet. She ran her pale hands down her jacket as someone would do when they have sweaty hands and took a deep breath. With a nod to herself, she was out of the door within seconds. She moved quick, but carefully. She knew the Volturi was here, and a few others. The Cullen's were no longer the only coven in Forks, and Alice really didn’t know if she should be worrying about that or not. They seemed like no harm, so she saw no reason to bother them. Everyone deserved a place to call home, right?

Her nose soon filled with the smell of Bella’s blood as she ran, a small smile forming on her lips when she realized she was going to see Bella again. But as soon as she saw the girl, she froze in her tracks and looked at Bella like she was a...ghost. Alice swallowed, trying to force herself to speak, walk closer and tap her on the shoulder then wrap her in one big, Alice hug. But before Alice could do any of that, Bella walked into her and both of them were slammed back into reality.

Bella spoke and apologized, and that’s when the memory of Edward’s pain crept back into her mind. Alice closed her eyes, expression falling as she lowered her head, allowing for a breath to pass through her lips as she listened to Bella speak ”Bella, I...” she froze again, sighing as she gathered up the strength to look up at what was Edward’s life. But as she looked into those brown, Bella eyes, she couldn’t help but remember the good times, so she...smiled, even though it was faint ”I missed you” she said, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around Bella carefully, giving her a gentle hug before pulling away, hands now place on both Bella’s shoulders ”How are you?”

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Family had meant the world to her and it killed her to think she had hurt the ones she loved. It wasn’t easy but she knew that things would never be what they once were. How much had really changed in almost seven years? She went from being single, to dating one of Forks’ handsome men, to suddenly being engaged with him and then doing the most horrible thing in her mind and hurting him when she left him at the alter. She had just never stopped thinking about that moment. Of what could have been.

She still didn’t understand her decisions of that day. Why she had done what she had done, except that it was out of pure fear. Of what could be—of the unknown. That had been part of it and the fact that she would be hurting her parents—hurting Jacob...and it killed her. At eighteen, she thought she was adult enough to handle whatever was happening—but she came to realize after she had tripped—that she just wasn’t. And ran out of fear and embarrassment. But the truth was she missed him—missed his family but knew there was little chance they’d forgive her for it—and would most certainly question her about the choices she had made which had affected them all. And the truth was—she had regretted it afterwords. Not just because she realized what a fool she was to have hurt him—but realized the Volturi would be after her—after them all due to the fact she had broken the promise—that she would in fact become a vampire. But knowing too much she realized that they would be after her—to kill her. To kill the Cullens.

She had left Forks that day—when her marriage didn’t occur, and had been running ever since. She hadn’t stayed in one place too long to keep anyone from finding her. But she checked in with Charlie and her mother often. To make sure they above all else didn’t worry. She was too afraid to contact Alice—as much as she wanted to because she was afraid the vampire would want her dead—as if she had been in Alice’s shoes—she probably would have. The one thing she did know was that she wasn’t the only one that had noticed the shift of people—of vampires in the area as even she had a feeling that their little quiet home life was about to be disrupted.

It wasn’t a problem if the other coven was friendly—but she knew that there were others—shifters too that had phased due to the sudden change in vampires. But it only made her worry because well to be honest—she had no idea if the Volturi would be nearby or not—given how much had truly changed. And if they were—her life was in more danger by staying here. Everyone needed a place to call home—and no one should be able to say that only certain individuals could live in a place like Forks.

Being human—knowing there were vampires in a place like Forks could potentially be dangerous but she was sure that if they wanted her dead they would have sought her out by now unless they just wanted to keep her on the ege—of not knowing whether it would happen or not—or when. But when sh saw Alice step forward and say her name—a smile had emerged on her face that Alice would surely recognize. She was happy to see her.

The fact that Alice said she missed her made her feel grateful that she wasn’t as angry as Rosalie or the others would have been. Alice had always been like a sister to her even before she and Edward had said they were going to get married. “I missed you too. More than you know.” She said as Alice gave her a gentle hug in which she reciprocated. Then when Alice asked how she was—well that was a loaded question. A question she wasn’t sure how to answer. Or how well it would be accepted.

She felt the vampire’s hands on her shoulder and that was a relief. At least she wasn’t dead yet. “ I think the more important question Alice is, how are you? As far as I am concerned...that’s a hard question to answer Alice. You know? I mean I wish I could say that I’m fine—that I am glad to be back, but I can’t say that I am...being back here—reminds me of what I’ve done—of the hurt I’ve caused....knowing that I’ve hurt the very people—you and your family that were nothing but loving towards me—that had helped me through so much—it kills me to know that I’ve betrayed all that and I wish you could have seen what was going through my mind—when I ran.”

She took a breath. Lowering her gaze to the floor, knowing that what she had done was wrong. “And I know you of all people want answers as to why I did what I did. And I wish they were good answers but they’re not. I never—I never thought things would turn out like they did. But like I said before saying sorry doesn’t change things. All I can really remember is when you and the others were helping me get ready to walk down the aisle and I was fine...you know? I was excited and then I don’t kow what happened. One minute you know I’m nervous as hell about to marry the man that I loved—and the next—I panicked. The—what if’s started to appear before me. You know like what if I went through with it? What would happen to Mom and Charlie? Or you know what if I didn’t—and I’d hurt you guys—which as you know actually happened. My heart was racing I think faster than it had ever done before—and I closed my eyes to focus on calming myself down as I walked toward Edward—and when I opened them—I can’t even explain just what I saw not without being sick myself.” She paused before continuing.

“I saw everyone dead....Charlie—my mom—all the humans dead.....everyone I’d ever known—loved aside from you—Edward, and your family were dead...Jacob and his pack too. And that’s when I tripped...and I just—I panicked. I couldn’t keep walking forward seeing what I was seeing in my mind....because as much as I loved Edward—I had all these eyes on me and I just I froze. I don’t even remember what Edward had tried to say before I ran—all I could think of was that I needed to get away—to get the images out of my head before—before I went insane....There was so much blood everywhere....” She shook her head as she cleared her throat before facing Alice again. She hoped that Alice would undestand what it was that she was trying to say as she hoped she wasn’t rambling too much like she had often done when she had been nervous especially before she had started walking toward Edward on that particular day in question.

“It was never about whether I loved Edward or I didn’t...because no one could accept me the way that Edward did—or can....and I just I’ve never stopped feeling guilty—about it. When I ran—I thought about killing myself. I thought about alot of things....I never—I never stayed in one place for too long...because I knew I was as good as dead. Especially when I realized the Volturi would be coming for me—because I knew too much...because I wasn’t a vampire like you, Edward and I—promised I would become...all because of my own selfishness. I mean I know I could’ve stayed to explain but I just I kept seeing everyone hurt or dead—and I just I couldn’t face that. I realize that I’ve lost more than I ever wanted to...because although I still have mom and Charlie—I’ve lost Jacob—you, Edward—and your family all because of a choice I’ve made. I’m still human Alice—and I’m just I’ve never forgiven myself for it. For hurting you—Edward and the others. I never wanted anyone to get hurt but they have—all because of me. And I’m just I’m sorry that I have hurt everyone.” She sighed as she looked at Alice once more, glad to see she was at least being friendly—even though she was sure it was difficult for them both. Because it was for her.