Nice to see you(Bella)

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

It was another quiet evening for Jasper Whitlock Hale. This time, he is alone in Forks, feeling slightly uncomfortable being around humans but keeping his composure. Alice was not too far away from him either so if he had any problems, he knew she would be right there to save his lust for human blood. Jasper, looking a bit crazy and almost electrified at all the humans around him, was destined to visit the Forks library to read on his subject that he was studying for away from Forks. It was philosophy, a great subject that Jasper always wanted to learn about. He always had different views and opinions about people so it was best that he gained some advice from the professionals to see what his mind was really like. However, of course, Jasper is still very proficient of knowing a lot of things from his perception as well. Even his main ability is to control emotions and feel the pain inside that person. He continued to think about Alice while walking nearby the library because that is the only thing as the time being for him to take focus off humans. Jasper’s overprotectiveness lingers everywhere he goes as he continued to think. He also thought about his other family members and one of the newest additions to his family, Luna. There is no doubt in mind that Jasper is a good man despite doing such atrocious things while participating in Maria’s coven.

And it was the upstart of his depression, but thankfully, he earned all of his pride back once he learned of Alice and the Cullen’s. Also, this new technique of being vegetarian is working well enough for him to finally travel around humans on his own. Jasper continued to walk forward until he finally stopped in front of the “Forks Public Library,” and Jasper walked in slowly, not trying to look suspicious, so he threw off his abnormal look on his face but he of course, couldn’t help it. He walked in and waved at a few people while smiling. Then he approached a lady who seemed to be a co-worker at the library to him and asked her about the specific literature that he wanted to read. He approached her and asks “Excuse me ma’am but is there a section here focused over philosophy or understanding humans?” He asked politely. The lady nodded her head and told Jasper to follow her. Jasper couldn’t believe that he got through with that with no struggle at all and she actually believed that he was still one of her. This brings out quite a smile for him as he speaks in his mind, telling himself, “I wish Alice were here to see this.”

He continued to follow the middle-aged lady as she appointed him to a number of books on philosophy. She said “Here are all of the books, anything very specific you would like to read?” Jasper smiled and looked into her eyes and replied “No ma’am, I’ll just like to pick out one if you don’t mind.” He said. The lady handed him over a book titled “Sociology,” and Jasper took it to his seat over in a corner with no one surrounding him. The library did not have that many people there anyway but Jasper took the wise choice to not risk anything happening. Of course he still has restraint but you could never always be too sure. He sat down, looked around for a moment then opened the book. Jasper always loved reading small detail so he looked at the dates, author names and the time it was published. He examined the citing on the books very thoroughly then finally got into the prologue of the pages. Suddenly, Jasper smelt something quite unusual like something he has smelt before. He tried looking deeply into the book before he was tempted to look up in a craze reaction. However, he peaked a bit and saw nothing. He looked again and continued to see nothing at all. This smell was very familiar to him, and he just could not coin on who it is. So he shrugged it off and continued reading quietly, but also thinking in the back of his mind about someone he has encountered before that is present in the library.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

After what had been an interesting day at the Diner, she had decided she needed to do something that would spark an interest in which she thought had been forgotten. Taking a deep breath she knew that anything was possible in the quaint and quiet little town of Forks, Washington. It was a place where she had once believed was home, but now was beginning to question even that decision. Mostly because she was afraid of hurting the very people she had loved—a family she had almost become a part of.

She and Jasper hadn’t had the easiest relationship since—well Jasper had wanted to suck her dry—although it wasn’t intentional but it was because he had not been able to control his blood lust as Edward had once described it. Though he’d learned to control it more so through the time she had been close with his family. Taking a deep breath she wandered from the diner, into her truck. Waiting a frew moments for it to start, she breathed a sigh of relief. After what seemed like hours—she had found herself outside of the Public library. Each of the Cullens were different in their own way and they had brought a certain talent to the fold. A talent she never could possess. Each of them had a certain knack that the others did not. Starting with the matriarchs of the family, Esme, with her unconditional love, an ability to love others fiercely even when times were tough. Carlisle, despite it all, he was meant to help others—his gift of helping, was the thing that set him apart from most men—at least he was compassionate, and that alone was a rare trait among men. Of course most of the men she knew was from this time—aside from the Cullens so that was what made the difference. Today’s men—didn’t have the same kind of resepct for life—for others as someone who had been around for over a hundred years like Carlisle had been.

Alice—her best friend—a sister in more ways than she could ever count—her gift of foresight had helped not only her but all of them—especially when times got tough—even when people were changing their minds which caused the visions to be subjected to change as well. Jasper—with his well ability to manipulate and control emotions—a trait which could come in handy especially if he was in a room where people’s emotions were running free—and not under somewhat of a control. He was a good man—as she had witnessed in her time with the family—and that was what mattered most. Emmett—with his brute strength was enough to tackle almost any vampire—or shifter down to size should he choose so. Rosalie—although cold and vain—she possessed remarkable beauty but yet she believed herself to be a monster. All of these people she had grown to care for, to love. And yes she had betrayed them but it was so much more complicated than that.

However, thinking of them meant the pain that she had put them through which was partially why she was at the library today. She needed to clear her mind off of it. First things first, she had walked over to the counter and returned the book she had last borrowed before heading to get a second. Little did she know that she was about to literally find herself near Jasper Cullen—Jasper Hale for all intents and purposes.

The brother to Edward, and Alice’s husband. She had no idea what was going to happen, after all anything was possible. Part of her wanted to go and talk but part of her wanted to turn the other way and walk away. Mostly because she did not want to intervene, but after retrieving her book, the only problem was there was no other place to sit. The end table—where Jasper was sitting was the only one with any room at all. She knew she was in trouble now. First Rosalie, then Emmett, then Luna, then Alice, then Carlisle, then Esme? Now this? What was the point?

She knew they all wanted answers and all of them deserved to get it. She hesitated before walking toward Jasper, as she had wanted to keep her distance, because she knew what he was and how he struggled with the blood lust but he was alone in the library which meant, at least in her mind, that he was getting more comfortable being around humans.

She sat down—knowing it was the only place to sit, but she didn’t know whether she should talk to Jasper, so she didn’t. She was going to wait for him to say something because she didn’t want to interrupt his reading time.

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

Jasper was sitting there persevering to read to himself and feeling quite enthralled with the subjects about social conflicts in this society. He thought slightly back of his Confederate army days that dealt with vampire wars. He grins a little as he remembered times that he had during battle and how many that he made suffer during those wars. Through all those battles that he was involved in, not once that he had lost one single battle. Of course, he had dozen of marks over his body but it is infrequently noticeable amongst humans. But in every single battle, all that mattered is that Jasper never lost one and some could barely even come close to defeating him. Jasper kept on reading a bit more, finally approaching a subject about dysfunctional families. Of course this subject did not apply to him but he wondered a bit about any obstruction that happened modernly. He looked up and was startled a bit to see that Bella Swan was present in the library. Jasper’s first instance was to continue reading and leave her alone to avoid any conflict.

Then again, Jasper has no reason to duck Bella because was finally getting to know her until she left for about six years. And she looked in a very displeasing mood in his opinion. Jasper almost had perception that he didn’t have to think to know what Bella was doing. But since that tragedy that happened which caused his family to leave Forks for a while, he realized that he might need to re-evaluate his views once again – Jasper’s favorite hobby. Jasper sat up even more straight while gazing over at Bella; he knew that she saw him before she walked around his way. Now all he could reminisce the times he wanted to kill Bella as well. That day at Bella’s birthday party at the Cullen’s house was the most recent catastrophic day for Jasper besides the day Bella had ran away.

Jasper lost his control because Bella got caught by a paper cut but that was then and this is now. Jasper’s blood lust is intolerable now because he’s continuing to think a lot while staring over at Bella. He thought about his brother Edward and how he’s feeling now or how he would feel if spoke with Bella. Then again, he knows his family has come a long way to depend off cruelty. So at no dispense, Jasper should avoid speaking with Bella. But he was still puzzled what to say to her. He would like to calm her down and maybe talk about things a little bit. Get her mind straight and make sure that all comes well. It is obvious that Jasper still finds Bella as family so why not? A little defiance wouldn’t hurt and maybe Bella would feel even better about herself. He plugged his book shut as he looked around the back over at Bella, who was not focusing her attention toward his way. He looked at her and comfortably spoke to her, “What a pleasant surprise, Bella.” He spoke with his southern accent. Hoping that she will turn around and greet him back, Jasper remained smiling at her, trying to make sure that this meeting would not get some negative vibes.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

She sighed as she had found herself sitting across the table from one of the Cullens. The one who had the most difficulty with the blood lust, of all. But that was understandable as at the time Jasper was still getting used to the vegetarian lifestyle as Edward had said. Now it had been six almost seven years since she had seen the man and he seemed to be quite a bit more comfortable being around humans, which was a good sign. She recalled everything she had been through with the Cullens, everything they had done for her—how they had saved her life, and how she had betrayed them. It was a difficult thing to remember as it hurt. Hurt more than she could ever say. Jasper was a talented vampire, and quite skilled at taking care of himself—able to fight his way out no matter the situation, this was what she had known him to be. He was strong, just like the others, as all of them were quite capable of defending themselves. She too had noticed his marks, but knew not to stare at them because as Alice once said, it was a reminder of a time in Jasper’s life that he had wanted to forget.

She wasn’t sure why she had felt the need to sit down across the table from Jasper, why she hadn’t just checked out her book and went home. But she had always liked Jasper, and hadn’t been afraid of him even when he had given her something to think about when he tried to attack her when she had gotten that paper cut at her eighteenth birthday party that the family threw for her. She liked the man despite that certain event. But she also knew that Jasper’s unique gift also helped things a little. It was almost unreal the way things had gone since she had returned. Part of the Cullens had questioned her as to why she had done what she had done, some had just told her that they didn’t want to hear it and to leave and never return.

It was an option she thought of more than once, because she didn’t have to be a vampire to know that she had hurt them, hurt them far more than she had ever intended to. She could feel Jasper’s eyes on her, and part of her wondered if he was thinking about killing her.

After all it wouldn’t be the first time, even if he had no control over it—but it would have led to catastrophic results should he attempt to. There would have been no way of avoiding that. She knew that she shouldn’t have run away as Alice and Esme had both told her, but she hadn’t been thinking straight at the time because if she had, she never would have done it.

The fact was she knew she was putting herself in a situation that she didn’t know if she could get herself out of. She knew that Edward had wanted her to stop and think about things before she ran, but it was as though his voice had been silenced by something. She knew that Edward would not like the fact she had spoken to the rest of his family, before speaking to him but there was nothing she could do about that. The Cullens were not cruel by nature, and that was one of the things she had loved about each of them. They were good people, despite their ‘curse’ as Rosalie described their vampire life. She didn’t know how best to say what it was that she knew he needed to know. She knew she owed answers but how could she?

How could she explain that even though she loved Edward, still had, that she had done what she had done out of fear? That she didn’t think things though? Because if she had, she never would have done it. Because ever since then, all she wanted to do was to die, to end the pain once and for all? Either way she was lost as to what to say, what to do.

Putting her own book down she looked at the man in front of her. He had treated her like family, as had the others before she had run, now she wasn’t sure where she stood with them. She knew she was an enemy, at least when it came to Edward. After all, leaving the man at the alter, was a tall tale sign that there were issues that she ought to have spoken to him about instead of running like a coward. But that was what she was now, a coward. One that was willing to die for it. She knew the Volturi would be coming for her—she knew far too much for her own good, as she had broken the promise that she, Edward and Alice had said—that she would become a vampire.

She couldn’t help but smile as she turned to face him as she heard his southern accent. “Hi. I am glad to see you too, Jasper. How’ve you been?” She asked, trying to keep herself calm and knew he was trying very hard to appear normal when even she knew that he wasn’t normal. It was too much to think that he was being friendly. She had feared he wouldn’t be. She knew that the bonds their family had—the Cullens, they were a tight knit bunch so she hadn’t expected many of them to be friendly even if she knew that she could never forgive herself, let alone expect them to. She didn’t deserve their forgiveness, after all she had betrayed them, in the worst possible way.

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

Jasper could tell Bella was very hesitative around him because the way she turned around and smiled at him. But he wanted to remain persist. He wanted to help see what is going on and maybe give Bella a little piece on his mind to smooth her thoughts about things. Jasper better hope to not lose control of himself but of course he knew that wouldn’t be a major problem this time around. Jasper probably clues that Bella would be a little startled to be around him since learning he’s struggling with his blood lust but for the most part, he is happy to see Bella. The last time he saw Bella was before the day of the wedding when he and Emmett took Edward away on a nice hunting gathering for his bachelor party. That night was fun and from Jasper’s memory, Bella looked comfortable and had no intentions of second thinking her wedding day. Jasper felt her excitement about it but wish he could have saw her right before the wedding to calm her down.

Maybe that could have played a huge factor that day but maybe it would not. Either way, Jasper was shell-shocked that Edward and Bella could not finally make peace with each other that day and fix all our their problems. Because of course, the Volturi was expecting Bella to become one of them. She did not and there will be consequences coming up for them. However, Jasper was ready, he was ready for anything. He actually had quite an Achilles Heel for competition and he knew the Volturi would give him a hard time. They have so much power and authority which made Jasper motivated to kill them even more. Especially he knew he had to protect his family, and of course the woman that saved his life, Alice. Jasper doesn’t know what to think about Bella anymore since re-evaluating that humans have such mood changes. He doesn’t know whether to trust her anymore but he can still tolerate her at least. That was the main thing for Jasper to do at this very moment. Jasper has to tolerate Bella and think about the times they all shared together.

They did have some fun before and learned so much about each other. Jasper recalls the time he explained to Bella about how he met Alice and his Confederate army days. He had a wonderful time explaining to her and giving her explanations on newborn vampires because that was her future – Well at least he thought so. It would have been amusing to see how Bella faired as a vampire and something he was anticipating very much. Considering Jasper was the only one in the family having a hard becoming a full vegetarian, he could at least share some laughter when Bella lost control. That would be wrong to consider but Jasper has spent more than decades hearing it from Edward and Emmett. It was too bad though, and Jasper thought Bella would make an excellent vampire because he knows she’s not afraid of him or anyone else in the family. If she were, then she would have left right after he eighteenth birthday party when he tried to kill her.

She didn’t and that mattered there but six years ago, nobody would think she would leave on such a mysterious note. He wondered if it because of Jacob or because of her becoming a vampire. If he would found out that it was because of Jacob then instantly, Jasper would not hesitate to go over to La Push and kill him. That would be such a poor thought though. Jasper, like the rest of the Cullen’s will welcome answers from Bella but not trying to be too needy for it. Right there, Jasper looked up at Bella once she spoke back to him and he said “Never better. How have you been? Take a seat if you would like.” Jasper looked down at the seat across from him with a smile on his face. He also motioned his hand over to the seat and also said “I was almost afraid I wouldn’t see you again there, Bella.” He said in his southern accent.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Jasper was one of the few whom she had always felt she could at least be honest with, without a shadow of a doubt. But that was partially because he was Alice’s husband and they had made some sort of bond between the two of them. Jasper could be persistant when he wanted to be, and she knew that too. She wasn’t sure how to feel, or what she should be feeling. Yes, she felt remorse because she knew deep down she had hurt not only Edward, but his entire family by her actions, and that was not what she had wanted because most of them had been very welcoming—a second family for her. She also knew that Jasper was still struggling to maintain his control over the blood lust, this she could pinpoint just because of how he was struggling to maintain a normal composure. After spending time with the vampire and his family, one picked up on things rather quickly.

She was happy to see him despite being a bit worried about the situation. It would have been different if they were meeting under different circumstances. Still she didn’t want to be the one that Jasper fed on, given the fact he’d almost killed her before. And knowing the circumstances, he’d probably be capable of doing it now, without thinking twice about it. She knew she hadn’t seen Jasper since the day before the wedding, at least in a better way than she had the day of the wedding. The day before the wedding took place, her nerves had been in check, and she was prepared for it. Excited for it, really...and had no intention of turning her back on it.

The day of, she couldn’t exactly point out when it had started but the day hadn’t been what she had hoped for. Maybe if one of them had spoken to her before—whether it had been Alice, or Esme or Jasper, any of the three, aside from Edward could have easily gotten her to at least think things through a little bit, but it hadn’t happened. They weren’t there, because at the time she hadn’t asked them to be, as she thought she was ready.

Of course she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she had put the Cullens—as well as herself in a position that they hadn’t asked for. The Volturi had been expecting her to become one of them, but she hadn’t...therefore she knew there would be consequences. Not just for her but for the family themselves. And that she couldn’t deal with. She didn’t want them in any more pain than she had put them through. She knew though that the family was prepared to defend themselves, as they had been gifted at many things—including battle. With Jasper, having the kind of knowledge he had, it was like they had an upper hand—sort of. But the Volturi would lean hard on those like Jasper, those who had a gift.

Personally she didn’t like the Volturi, they had power—far too much for their own good. Which was precisely why she knew they were going to be coming for her. For them all, and she would take it—if they came for her—to kill her than so be it. She was prepared to accept it.

She hadn’t blamed them for not trusting her after what she had done, nor had she deserved it. She knew that it had caused them all to reevaluate their priorities, and it had shell shocked the entire family—something she had the most control over but hadn’t been able to stop. The truth was she liked Jasper, even with his less than easy control over his blood lust. She thought about all the things she had been through with each member of that family—and the one that came to mind right now was her time with Jasper. Perhaps it was because he was the one that was right in front of her right now.

She could easily recall how Jasper had spoken to her about his time in the Confederate Army, and how he had met Alice, and what had led them to the other Cullens. Just the history that Jasper was able to tell, because he had lived through it, was far better than anything she had learned in school. She hadn’t minded when he had told her about the newborns—because at the time—that had been her future. Of course it was a bit more complicated than one would think given the circumstances.

It perhaps would have been interesting at least in her mind to see how she would have handled being a vampire—a newborn at that. If she would lose control for even a second—how dangerous that would be, and oh how she was sure it’d cause some laughs within the family.

She had anticipated what that might be like, not knowing that it wouldn’t be that way at all. That she would still be human....seven years later—if she had she might have questioned what it was that she’d done. She kind of felt bad though because Jasper had been the only one at the time who had well—a hard time becoming a full vegetarian, just like she would have been had the situation not changed. It would be wrong of course to laugh at something like that—but anyone could understand why someone would.

Although from Edward and Emmett—she was prepared to feel the effects that a newborn would have. She had wanted to become a vampire—still did—but she couldn’t do anything about that now. It was a complicated situation because she knew either way she was going to lose someone and that had been just as much of an impact as what she had seen the moments before she ran. It wasn’t that she was afraid of vampires—because if she had been, she would have left and never looked back during her eighteenth birthday party when Jasper had attempted to kill her.

She knew that most would believe she left for a reason in which Jacob was involved with. But it hadn’t been the case. Yes, Jacob had attempted to sway her mind even before the wedding but as much as she loved him, she had loved Edward more that was why she had agreed to marry him. Marriage was part of it, because she’d never lived in a house where both her parents were married, as they had divorced before she could even remember a happy moment there. She had never seen herself as the marrying type.

But she doesn’t understand how any of that has to do with the fact she had abandoned the very people who had meant so much to her. She sighed as she looked at him, before sitting down.

“How have I been? That’s kind of a loaded question, Jasper. It’s one that I’ve been wrestling with. I think the more important question is how have you been? I know you’ve probably got some questions for me, ‘cause you’re not the first, you know.....to ask them. I was afraid I wouldn’t be back—but I had no idea that I’d—I’d been gone so long...or that well you guys were back too. I’ve tried to stay away—mostly ‘cause I knew—although we were both back in town—Jasper, I knew it’d be difficult for all of us to be in the same room with eachother without my head being served on a platter, so to speak. I know you guys well enough to know that what I did, caused more damage than it should have...and I know that’s partially why you’re still here. Because you want answers to questions—questions that you need answered, like why is it I left when I did, and what caused it.” She spoke to him, hoping that this wasn’t going to end badly for either of them.

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

Determined off Bella’s mood, Jasper knew Bella had some hate in her body. It wasn’t necessarily toward him or anyone else but the decisions she has made. He could feel it in his own system which made Jasper a bit more sympathetic about the situation at hand. Who would have known that Jasper would come to learn more about a human like Bella? He can also reminisce on the very first time he met Bella and how abnormal it was for him to meet her. Initially, he wanted to kill her because Edward was not supposed to give away his secret to a human. The quirkiness of Jasper relapsed and because of his overprotectiveness of his family, he wanted at all measures to kill Bella. Right now, it is hard to even believe that he wanted to kill her. Jasper still respected Bella but the trust was thrown out of the window, however there is always a possibility on making up for it. Jasper, of all the Cullen’s could understand that. His number one impended word is “hope” and raises possibilities for life to turn around for Bella.

At the time being, he felt Bella’s sadden and unsupervised mood but was shocked at how quickly she started to talk about their differences from the past six years. Of course, it could have been expected from Jasper but at this time and place, he did not actually know how sorry Bella was for her poor decision. Jasper’s curvy eye browns frowned as it always does whenever he’s focused on someone’s words. He looked at Bella and continued to listen to her talk about the answers that he and his families wanted.

Jasper wanted answers but not for him but for his brother Edward, who had been on the worst side of this deal. Jasper could feel Edward’s pain like he felt when he was in love with Maria; Jasper’s first love from the past. So after a while Jasper felt rebellious and negative feelings for Bella and what she had done. But as time moved forward, there isn’t a reason to crave about it anymore. And one of the things Jasper noticed at the wedding was Bella’s extreme nervousness and only he could have helped out. After listening to Bella’s heartfelt speech, Jasper‘s smile expression dropped and he calmly said:

"Well Bella, of course it has been a difficult journey through all that has transpired from six years ago. But don’t think for a second that we won’t give you a chance for forgiveness. Frankly, it would be much better for all of us to speak about this so we could be on much happier terms. I honestly had no words or intentions to get answers from you at first because it gave me horrible nostalgia. And what you did to my brother Edward was uncalled for and caused recessive pain for him, much worse for the entire family. You know me, Bella, I will always be honest with you because I can feel that is what you need right now. Other than Rosalie, you will need something at least critical because unlike most, I can closely understand judging off your moods from that day it all happened. Which brings me to the question…. “

Jasper’s gold eye balls locked on Bella as his demeanor conformed seriously. He then proceeds to say “What was going through your head that day?” Jasper leaned forward and continued to grace all his attention on Bella. His comments about Bella, he had hoped she would not get offended by all means. The nostalgia he got was from his time with Maria as he learned he was being used by her. Jasper felt that for Edward in this because of all the times he saved Bella, and all the times they all fought out many adversaries together. This made Jasper think Bella used them until he finally gave significant thought about it. Jasper was open for answers from Bella and hoped they were reasonable because of the mood she was in and the feel he could receive from it. It wasn’t a good feel at all but it’s important to make this situation for the better for the family. Because there’s a likely chance that more problems will endure later on but keeping everyone content at least should fare well with the future.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

She wished things were simple, that she could take back what she had done, but she couldn’t. And she knew in part, that it was too late to just appologize, because too much time had passed. It was going to take a lot more than ”I’m sorry” to fix this, to make it even half alright again. She didn’t believe she ought to be forgiven. Every breath she took, was another reminder that she had screwed up. She was still human—and well aware of the consequences that she had made, even if it hadn’t intentionally been to hurt anyone else. One of her fondest memories, were when Edward finally had her meet his family. She recalled every detail as if it had just happened. They were making italian for her, even though they couldn’t eat themselves. Vampires didn’t eat normal food, the way that she did.

So while she respected the fact that they were preparing a meal for her, she had eaten beforehand so that it wasn’t so awkward. After all, it made things work so much smoother that way.

Meeting each of them she had formed a special bond with some of them. With Alice, it had been like having a sister, and a best friend all in one—given she was an only child. With Esme, she was like a second mother—and would often go to her for advice if needed. Carlisle was like a second father to her, and she respected the man. Of course Edward held a place in her heart that no one could touch. With Jasper, even though at first their bond was a bit strange given he’d attempted to kill her—although he hadn’t meant to during her eighteenth birthday party—the fact of the matter was, he was a good guy and she believed in him. She was always fascinated by how much he could recall his time in the civil war—being a part of the confederate army. With Rosalie and Emmett—they were the most distant of the family but with good reason. Emmett had just started opening up to her, as had Rosalie not long before the day of her wedding. Rosalie had shared her story—of how she had been attacked and what led Carlisle to find her—to turn her. At the time all she had wanted was Edward. That she believed he was all she wanted and she would want nothing more than him. Which left her to wonder what caused her to suddenly vanish in a moment of panic?

She knew that she had lost their respect—and trust when she had up and run. And she doubted there was much hope left for her. Every day—it felt like her world was growing smaller and smaller—and darker. She had never felt weak when she was with Edward and his family—but the last six years had changed that. She felt like she was weak for having left the way that she had—weak for not being able to stomach what it was that led her to this moment. Even facing Jasper now was difficult because she was reminded of the pain she had caused, not only to herself, to her parents, to her friends but most importantly to the entire Cullen family, especially to her then fiancee, Edward. She felt like she was nothing, but pathetic for the path she had unknowingly chosen for herself now. Without Edward—she didn’t feel the strength in herself that she once had. If anything it was like she was a shell of whom she once was. The part of the problem was she knew that Edward deserved the answers far more than anyone else in his family. He deserved it, he needed it, but she hadn’t seen him.

Death would have sufficed, at least in her mind although lately she had begun to start to dig herself out of the sinking hole she had found herself thrown into after leaving Edward at the alter. Most of it was because she was slowly reconnecting with herself, and seeing Alice and Esme had helped. To say that her nerves were getting to her on the day of her wedding was understated. Jasper and Esme, and Alice, aside from Edward, were the only other people that could have helped her think things through—to make herself feel better, and more in control with what she was feeling.

She could feel Jasper’s eyes piercing right through her and knew that he was concentrating on their conversation, which whether that was a good thing, she wasn’t quite sure. She took a breath before speaking to him. “I don’t deserve that, Jasper. What I did—and how I did it—it’s unforgivable. I don’t know that I could face everyone all at once....I just wish things were easier. I know that when I left—I wasn’t the same...and I know Edward wasn’t either, mostly ‘cause I hurt him far more than I ever intended to, and by extention, you and the rest of your family as well. You may not have been wanting the answers at first, but in time—you would have just like the others. And I know it wouldn’t be because you wanted the answers for yourself but for Edward.” She sighed knowing that it was getting harder and harder to speak through this, because she felt more guilty every time she said Edward’s name. It felt like she was being stabbed repeatedly every time she spoke his name, although she had loved him fiercely and on some level still did, it hurt saying it because of the pain that was now connected to it. She looked at Jasper in the eye before speaking once more. Knowing of course that what she was about to say might not make sense to most people but it was exactly what was going through her head at the time, even if it did sound a bit crazy even for her. All she knew was that what she had done—and how she had done it, created more than enough bitter feelings and an emptiness that none of them had seen coming.

She cleared her throat before speaking. “I know, that I hurt him....that I hurt Edward. I never intended to do it. But I know that I did nevertheless. I know that I hurt him, and even more so hurt the entire family....because you all accepted me into your lives—even if it wasn’t so easy to do so. But just saying I’m sorry doesn’t cut it. Because it’s too late for that. I know that too. I respect the fact that you’re being honest with me. Which is what I’m trying to do here. To be honest with you too. I’ve already seen several of your family members—the only one I’ve not seen is Edward, but I understand why that is. It’s too hard to put into words exactly what was going through my head. I just know that it didn’t turn out like I hoped.” She breathed softly trying to keep herself calm as she knew that what she was talking about—what she had to tell him was nothing that would keep her that way.

“All I can remember is feeling nervous, you know. I mean I knew I would be. It wasn’t so much that I was afraid of what I was about to do. Because one thing was for certain in my mind, that I loved Edward, and wanted to be with him. Every bride gets nervous on their wedding day at least for a while, as Mom would tell me moments before Charlie and I started walking down that aisle. I remember seeing everyone—all the eyes on me....all watching me and that only added to how nervous I was. You know because getting married is a huge step, it’s a huge committment to the other person. I never believed I would be the type to get married, especially since I didn’t grow up with a—two parent home. My parents were divorced when I was really little. You know I never saw what a real marriage was like. All I had to base that on was what I saw on television.” Taking a deep breath she looked at the floor. “I wish I could say that what happened that day made sense, but it doesn’t. I mean yes, I was nervous but I was excited too. I saw Edward, and he’d never looked better in my oppinion. I then saw all of you—and then all hell broke loose. Charlie and I were walking down there, getting closer and closer to Edward with every step I had taken....”

She replied with a sigh as she tried to figure out the best way to explain what she had seen and how she had seen it. “When I tripped—it only made me feel more self consious, like I couldn’t even walk straight....without being a clutz. I started to feel a bit light headed, kind of like I was about to pass out, and I remember closing my eyes to try and focus on clearing my head so I could keep walking. I remember I stopped....and when I opened my eyes, I can’t explain how or why I saw it—but I did...I saw a huge pile of people...my friends, my parents, all of the humans who were in attendance at my wedding--with their blood drained, it was a pile of their corpses. And then one by one, I saw your family—Jasper....with their heads ripped apart, next to what would have been the rest of your bodies. That—that was too much for me. I mean I know now obviously that it wasn’t real but it felt very real at the time...and I remember it was then when I turned to run....to escape what I saw. I don’t even remember what Edward had said when he reached me, all I know is I felt like I couldn’t think—I couldn’t breathe....but all I thought of was that I had to get out of there.....that I needed to clear my head and gather my emotions.....I couldn’t even hear what anyone else had tried to tell me. It was the biggest mistake of my life, Jasper."

She tried to say it, but it was hard to just be honest." It was something I haven’t forgotten, something I go to sleep at night seeing it all as though it were happening all over again, it’s the first thing I see when I wake up. It’s never ending. It had nothing to do with whether I wanted to be a vampire—whether I wanted to be with Edward. It had nothing to do with Jacob either, although I’m sure Edward thought it had....and I know it also might feel like I used everyone—because of what I did. But that’s not true. You guys—your family are the most wonderful people—invididuals that I’ve ever known in my life. And you deserved more than what I gave you. I just wish I could change it—to turn back the clock but I can’t. I don’t know if it was because there were too many eyes watching me—if it would have been different if it would have been a smaller wedding—I just I don’t know. It’s something I’ll never know.” She felt relieved telling him this.

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

Jasper was relieved that Bella’s decision to leave the wedding wasn’t because of becoming vampire. It wasn’t because of Jacob or her love for Edward either. Actually it seemed more out of fear for everybody at the wedding. He understood that she kept envisioning the worst possible scenarios that could have happened. However, in Jasper’s mind of his own, he didn’t think that would have happened. It has been years and decades that vegetarian vampires have been around huge chunks of families so nothing would have differed from that big day. Especially for Edward, if Jasper or anyone else had lost control, they would be in huge trouble with him. Jasper still understood that Bella had never been under that circumstance before. He pictured himself being next to Bella the entire way until they reached Edward. That would have definitely made a huge difference. Jasper always used his ability to control emotions for the better of his family and friends.

On that day, it seemed like he didn’t really need to use it because everyone there were extremely proud and happy for the two love birds. Jasper was one of them, especially since any moment, he wouldn’t be willing to kill her anymore. He remembers that day when they voted for Bella to become a vampire. Jasper was one of the very first to announce that he would love for her become one of them if she is going to be sticking around Edward a lot often. Jasper was just getting used to Bella. He never really actually had a happy feeling about her until they finally sat down for conversation. In fact, he only did things to control Bella’s emotion before her big eighteenth birthday because of Alice. He always wanted to make Alice happy, and Alice loved Bella like a sister.

She wanted to stay close to Bella but with Jasper being so intimidated by his blood lust, that wouldn’t happen. So it would have been a great choice for Jasper to at least try to get involved more with Bella. It really flowed by itself though. Jasper’s attempts always failed until he was stuck in the middle of leading his family and a pack of wolves against newborn vampires that were assembled by Victoria. Jasper played a helping hand in killing her mate, James, who wanted to kill Bella. And during that time, Edward revealed to Bella how Jasper is the most profound in handling newborn vampires and also his highly talented fighting skills are superior of the entire family.

Bella seemed amused by hearing that and that was one of the first steps in building their relationship. From that day forward, they moved closer and Jasper didn’t have the nerves of killing her anymore even while being human. But on that wedding day, Jasper was going to be proud to call Bella one of his own and a sister to him. Things changed though and that is why Jasper was hurt as well when Bella left. He looked listened to Bella while she continued to talk and he did not really agree with some of her sympathy. Jasper still respected Bella as everyone else did in the family but their trust was gone, completely. He knew they would forgive her but as for her being welcomed into the family, there was a very negative chance. As Bella got done speaking, Jasper continued to lean over even closer. He didn’t grin or look happy at all. He nodded his head and spoke softly to Bella.

“I understand, Bella. It’s great for you to get all that anger and sorrow out of you by telling me this. But you should be ensured that our family still has respect for you. Much like we still have respect for others who we have not had such a close or relaxing relationship with. For you, Bella, we have always seen you as a member of our family even before being Edward’s fiancé. You don’t need to have a doubt in mind that we don’t respect you after all the good times we did share and problems we had solved together. Like I said, I’m going to be honest with you, Bella and that is certainly a true pledge. But it will be hard for us to ever trust you again as you should know that. After all you had just told me, I feel where you’re coming from. You wanted the safest scenario for everyone in your wedding and that is what worried you. I’ll also tell you that there would have never been such an intention because in our hearts, we would never want to ruin that day for you and especially Edward. It had been a while for him to finally fall in love with someone that he knew was meant for him. He never loved anyone more until he met you and I promise you that he still loves you. But he’s heartbroken and all that has built anger inside of him ever since that day. He is definitely the one and only you should be approaching with this. Though, it is great to see you have spoken with everyone in our family. Maybe that should make you a bit more comfortable if you do ever get a chance to speak with Edward.” Jasper wanted to smooth talk with Bella to calm some of her nerves. He wanted to make sure that this problem is resolved and Bella has some confidence to speak with Edward. It could turn out worse but it was certainly worth a shot in his mind. He started grinning as he looked closer at Bella.

“Maybe if Charlie had such awesome vampire ability like me, you would have been walking down that isle a lot happier.” He said jokingly. Jasper wanted to make this conversation a bit more open than just problematic.

“Seriously, I believe having that type of wedding was right for you. Because that could have been the very last day you would see all of your relatives and friends in one large area together. But if that made you feel uncomfortable, you should have told me so I could have hit Alice on the head for inviting so many people.” Jasper smiled a bit more as he continued to speak.

“But nah, I’m sure she would have seen it coming anyways. She abuses me with that foreseeing thing all the time.” Jasper continued to speak…

"The truth of the matter is that this all can be resolved, Bella. Don’t give your hopes up as I almost did before I found Alice. You can certainly talk with Edward as she talked with us about what happened six years ago. I’m not sure if he will be open to speak with you again but I have a deep suspicion that he will be happy to see you. You might say you don’t deserve any of this but everyone deserves a second chance. Without chances, how can we see or feel our destinations? Frankly, if none of us ever had second chances, we wouldn’t be living right now. I’m sure there are differences between the two cases but as for hope, everything connects on the same dot. Bella, you just have to see where I’m coming from and believe you deserve to be forgiven. I certainly will always find you as a friend. The trust will come a long way but who knows? You stay persistent, and then all things might change around for the better.” Jasper hoped Bella took up his advice as he waited for her response.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

To say that she was relieved to tell her story, was not exactly the emotion rolling through her mind. Fear was a big factor of why she had left and that was her fault. She had let her fear...her doubt stop her from marrying someone that she loved and that was her worst mistake. She knew they would never have let it happen, no matter what she had seen, but was glad he hadn’t questioned it. None of them would have allowed it, and she knew it now, but then, it was impossible to even think straight.

Perhaps if she wasn’t so worried about something like that happening, was it possible that why she saw it that way, was what she feared what would happen when she was transformed into a vampire? If that was the case, why hadn’t she seen herself among the dead? Questions like that had been on her mind, and she couldn’t help it. If anyone had lost control, she knew that Edward would have flipped out, and so would she. But everyone had been on their best behavior except for her.

She had been proud of her decision to marry Edward and that they had been able to get to that point. His entire family had been proud, as much as her parents were although probably more so. One of the hardest things was the fact that so many had voted for her to become a vampire, and yet she was the one that at the end hadn’t gone through with it. She didn’t know why she hadn’t accepted that it was just nerves and to keep moving forward. She remembered how almost all of them had voted for her to become a vampire. Of course the fact was, she was uncertain of why things had gone the way they had. Jasper had used his power to make her happy at least more comfortable around her eighteenth birthday party, prior to the incident. Alice had loved her like a sister, and it was hard to believe she had hurt the girl as much as she had. It hurt to talk about that, it hurt to breathe, and yet here she was talking about it. She could recall with every detail what Jasper had told her about his past. About how he was the most capable of fighting off newborns, because of his past with Maria. Jasper was surperior in that matter, that she had seen firsthand. It was what made their bond grow in the first place. They began to talk more, and she enjoyed hearing his stories. She would have been proud to call him a brother, since she didn’t have any of her own. Due to being the only child of both her parents. She knew that there would never be the oppertunity again to be as close with them as she once was, and that was understandable. She didn’t think they should forgive her, but if there was an oppertunity for that, then so be it. Living this kind of a life, had put an impact on her, and a very negative one at that. She no longer felt the connection she once did to them, she was still single—still human with no real connections to anyone anymore outside of her parents. Even her friendship with Jacob had suffered dramatically.

“Maybe Jasper, but it’s not enough to just let it out, you know? I mean it doesn’t change anything. Not that I was expecting it to. I am quite surprised, you’d even have some respect for me, given what I’ve done, because I know if the situation were reversed, I don’t know that I’d be able to say that. I know you guys—were my family, at least in the best way possible. You guys looked after me, since I was this frail human—and I don’t know if I thanked you guys enough for it. Yes, there were alot of good times but there’s alot of bad ones too. Trust is a precious commodity and I broke that, I know. Even if I never meant to. Jasper, it wasn’t just your family I was thinking of, I knew you would never do that. None of you would, it was everyone else. Jacob especially. I still love him and that’s what is hard. Because I know that I can’t fix this....no matter how much I might want to. You know? Because without trust, and honesty, there can’t be love. And so I’ve screwed myself over, because of what I’ve done and I have had to accept that. I’m sure he is heartbroken, so am I. I know he’s the one I should be talking to about all of this, but he’s been avoiding me—with good reason. I can’t force him to talk to me, or for him to even see me. He has to be willing to do it himself. I think I’m as comfortable as I’m going to get. You know, I know that there’s a chance I could fix things with him, but I also know that it could turn out a lot worse than what it did.” She said honestly. She hoped Edward would be okay with talking to her eventually but she would give him time.

She chuckled as she heard what he had to say about Charlie having a gift. “I’d have never been able to leave the house in that case. Charlie would have probably locked me up somewhere and had me home schooled in that case. You know he never trusted me with Edward, but he always did around Jacob for some reason. I don’t know if it’s because he actually liked Jacob more or if it was the fact he thought we would make a good pair. I don’t think Edward and I would have even been engaged if he had that kind of ability or any other for that matter.” She said jokingly, although partially serious. Still she understood that everything happened the way it did for some kind of reason. It was something to learn from and oh how she had learned too much. She learned what it meant to be alone.

“I know why she invited so many people...but it just maybe it was just the eyes on me. It was supposed to be a celebration of two families coming together and instead it turned into a nightmare. I thought that’s what I wanted, Jasper. You know to have the big wedding, to see everyone because I knew I might not see them again. That’s why I went along with it, when Alice informed me of how many were coming. I would not want you to hit Alice, she was my friend and was only doing what she thought was best for me. It’s not her fault anyway. It was my nerves that caused this problem, not the number of people that were watching me. But you’re right she probably would have seen it coming, especially given how well she can see things before they happen once a decision is made. Though I wish she would have forseen my panic, then she could’ve warned me...and it would have stopped me from doing it, from hurting everyone I cared about.” She replied softly.

She thought about what she had put everyone else through, what she put herself through and she didn't want another repeat of it. “I don’t want to give up Jasper. I really don’t. And I don't want to hurt anyone like I did before, like how I'd hurt Edward, my family, yours....myself....But I’m afraid of the consequences. You know you don’t just walk away from someone you love, and not expect there to be some kind of consequences. I’d be surprised if he would be happy to see me again, as I’d be thrilled to see him. That’s true though, Jasper, because you guys had your second chances, you each found who you were supposed to be—and who you were supposed to be with. I understand where you’re coming from Jasper, I do. It’s going to take a while, but in time hopefully I’ll see in myself what you do, at least when it comes to forgiveness. As I know that no one else can do that until I’m able to do it myself. I’m glad to hear that we can at least be friends—Jasper. I’d always wanted that. Trust, I hope I can rebuild it, not only with Edward but with all of you. I know it won’t be the same as it was before, but maybe it could be something better? Who knows, I guess time will really tell.”

[JASPER WHITLOCK HALE]

Jasper continued to listen, and most of him is very proud to speak with Bella for this long. But the other part was very sympathetic because he could feel Bella’s sorrow and how truly sorry she was. He continued to stay focused on her and how she keeps implying that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone again. He understood that and all of it he agrees with. It’s just Jasper sees Bella different from Maria or any other person that has hurt him or his family. He believes there are possibilities of her and Edward getting back together and he’s all for it. Especially considering the Volturi will try to destroy them once they learn Bella is still human.

It’s like keeping two birds in one stone to him. Giving Edward back his true love and saving his beloved family from extinction even though Jasper wouldn’t mind a challenge for once in his life. But the important thing here is to make everyone happy, and stop clogging up troubles. Jasper could feel all emotions from everyone in this so it seems as he’s stuck in the middle of this travesty.

He never really could understand why problems constantly exist, but when you’re a supernatural being, especially something that you never intended on becoming – he could understand now. He looked into Bella’s eyes and saw many things in those eyes. He saw a person that wanted forgiveness and wish she could have changed what has happened. He saw and pictured how wonderful Bella is a fit for Edward and part of that made him ambitious to try and help Bella but he’ll need support. And what better person to do that than Alice? Alice of course, wouldn’t have any mind on helping Bella talk to Edward at least. They couldn’t control the outcome of the confrontation unless Alice could foresee something that could be changed.

For the most part, Jasper thought it would be a great idea for Alice to help but the way Bella is speaking; she might even try to avoid help and confrontations with Edward. She’s too passive right now and sad about what happened. It was a big situation and nothing that could just be fixed easily. But one thing Jasper will never misinterpret is the fact that love makes everything easy. To him, faith always makes everything possible and that is what he needs to explain to Bella. He continued to look at Bella as she finished and grinned a bit before speaking then said:

"Consequences….. Well Bella, there have been consequences for all of us here. We all share the same feeling as you. We’re sad about what happened and haven’t been relatively happy about it, especially Edward. The major thing about this is that problems can always be solved. There is no problem that is impossible to solve at all. And I would like to help you, Bella. I know this might cause a conflict between Edward and Rosalie in particular but I do not see how you can help yourself when you cannot find Edward or catch up to him at least. I would love to speak with Alice about this and see what she thinks but keep in mind…” Jasper leaned closer toward Bella.

“If you feel uncomfortable at all then I will not intervene to make you even more nervous about this. However, I think it would be better to regain trust within the family if they see you’re continuing to bond with me and Alice.” Jasper said.

“So what do you say partner?” Jasper spoke in his southern accent with a smile on his face and stuck his hand out to Bella.

[ISABELLA MARIE SWAN]

Taking a deep breath as she looked at Jasper, and was proud that at least the two were getting along and that Jasper had been able to contain the blood lust for this long. As she knew how difficult it was for him. But as long as he was distracted, it would be nice to have the conversation continue. She was sure that he of course understood that she didn’t want to hurt him or anyone else, as he was able to read her emotions.

Of course, if there was a possibility that she and Edward could actually get back what they had—and returned to being who they were with eachother, maybe there was hope yet. It also didn’t help she felt a concern and a panic when she thought of the Volturi who would most likely be coming to end the Cullens’ lives and hers especially if they found out she was still human. And it was something she didn’t want to happen.

The honest part was it could turn out for her and Edward, to be better than it was before, and she hoped that time would allow them to get back to that, but it would also save their lives, especially if she was turned before they found out about it. She wanted to make sure that everyone had a happy ending this time....as she knew what it was like to live without them—and it was like a sucking void...and she had lost a part of herself when they had all moved away, as had she but in different directions.

The only thing was, problems were happening and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it except to solve what they could and leave the rest for another day. She knew it must be difficult for Jasper to handle all of the emotions that he most likely felt, from everyone involved, especially her and Edward, on top of his own emotions.

She wanted forgiveness, especially from Edward, more than anything else....but also from the others within his family. Now she knew she had to take a deep breath and try to relax. Because she knew that Jasper was only trying to help, as would Alice. And she loved them for it. Her heart had been frozen since she and Edward last saw eachother—the day of what should have been their wedding. She needed to have more faith in herself, but that was a hard thing to do when she had thought so badly of herself after leaving Edward the way that she had. It was a big situation, that could not easily or immediately be fixed overnight. She knew that love could make anything seem easier than what it truly was, or it could make it harder—depending upon the circumstances. But it was easy when she was with Edward as he seemed to know her more than anyone else—even Jacob and she had known Jacob a lot longer—even if she hadn’t seen him in years prior to her moving back to Forks when she had. Faith also played a role in things, which she was beginning to understand after talking to Jasper.

It was a relief actually as it meant that things could work itself out—maybe. Doubt often had crept into her mind, when she had tried to avoid it. She looked at Jasper as he spoke up, with a grin on his face.

She smiled in return to his grin and took a breath before speaking what was on her mind. “Yes there was—for all of us. Which is exactly why I would like to take things a bit slower—you know, not rushing it. I mean you know by now, how I’ve felt...on top of everyone else’s. Sometimes I wish you could get a break as I know how it can be overwhelming, feeling everything that everyone else is feeling on top of how you feel yourself. And I think you’re pretty special for being able to sit here right now and talk to me like this, when we both it’s not easy.”

She sighed as she knew it was going to be a long process, and might start a bit of a conflict especially between Edward and Rosalie. Especially since Rosalie wasn’t overly fond of her anyway. But she couldn't blame the blonde vampire after everything she had done.

“I hope you’re right. I think you are. I’m glad you want to help, and I know Alice will too. She’s always been very helpful....I just hope it doesn’t cause too much trouble between Edward and Rosalie. I don’t blame Edward for not wanting to see me—or well talk to me. I didn’t exactly leave on the best terms, Jasper. I don’t want you to speak to Alice—not by yourself...I’d like to be there. I mean if you guys are going to help—it’s better if we’re all on the same page and the only way that’s going to happen is if all three of us actually meet and talk about this. We both know what Alice will do. Especially since she’s always seen me as one of you even before I knew who you were. But I also know that I’ve put you guys in danger too—as we both know the Volturi will be coming to check up on things—I’m surprised they haven’t already to be honest. But if they find out I’m not one of you—you and I both know what’ll happen. And I don’t want to see that happen as that’d be my fault, Jasper. I just hope we can fix this. I want to be able to show you guys that you can trust me....again. But let’s do this Jasper.” She said as she extended her hand to meet Jasper’s.